I Bought a Vampire Motorcycle (1990)

A Killer What?

When a biker gang murders another gang of bikers in the midst of summoning a demon, the demon is transferred into the dead gang leader’s motorcycle where it’s then purchased by Noddy (Neil Morrissey) it then goes on a murder spree, taking blood for its fuel.

Is It Any Good?

Mostly. It’s mostly what you would expect from this title but at times the movie is too glib by half. For the most part the movie is bloody and goofy in just the right way. All the usual tricks that work against vampires work against the motorcycle, a policeman’s garlic breath is capable of repelling it, and there’s even a goofy motortrike-riding priest played by Anthony Daniels.

The problem is that the movie takes the whole “horror-comedy” thing a bit too close to heart. A gory horror movie about a vampire motorcycle is campy enough but the film-makers saw fit to add a bunch of really hack comedy bits that just don’t fit with the tone of the movie.

For the most part the jokes don’t detract from the movie but you’ll likely find yourself groaning at bits throughout. For the most part this is a really great movie and it’s a shame it didn’t inspire any sequels. I would watch the hell out of I Bought a Werewolf Jetski and I Bought a Frankenstein Snowmobile.

Watch, Toss, or Buy?

Buy it, there’s a new blu-ray releasing on the 23rd.